February Fear, err Challenge: Don’t Cross The Line

 

ImageEleanor Roosevelt was beyond wise, we all know this.  Admittedly and very unfortunately, I wouldn’t even know what this woman had to tell the world if it wasn’t for Princess Diaries, you know the scene (to be fair, I was only 13 at the time).  Lady Roosevelt had plenty of great advice, this one just happened to stick and be my favorite.  Let’s face it, it’s hard not letting people get the best of us and thus…

Hi, my name is Catherine, and I struggle with boundaries.

 Personal boundaries are hard to navigate through.  As much as you want to say no, truly say what you mean and not let the words of others affect you, you regretting-ly shy from speaking up and get hurt.  For the bold, this may be easy… for the tactful this is a pleasant exchange.  For me, it’s tripping over words, not saying the right thing and not feeling heard… and at the end of it, allowing someone else to make me feel really small.  I became quick friends acquaintances with someone over January and February.  I like to see the best in people after others told me their own personal opinions of said person.   And I quickly learned what kind of person they really are.  This didn’t go without allowing this person to make me feel inferior.  Let’s face it, people, places and things can make us feel certain ways.  However, it’s what we do with that emotion that helps us grow.  When necessary, I did speak my mind but not in the way I wanted to, it wasn’t as eloquent and I certainly left things out.  After relatively smoothing things over, it happened again and this time I didn’t handle it with the bit of grace as I did the previous interaction.  Personally, I never want to come off rude, and I always seem to, nor do I want to allude to the fact that I don’t have it together and/or can’t stick up for myself properly.  But that’s my struggle.  I refuse to be treated certain ways by anyone and struggle to stand up for myself, say no, and draw that line in the sand.

Unfortunately, I’ve lived a lot of my life allowing people to make me feel negatively about myself or taken advantage.  And I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to learn how to change that.  I can proudly say that my encounters were not anything like the person I once was.  Its taking me a while to approach times like this with tact and grace, and it’s a never-ending battle for me.  As a society, we need things from people however, that will never be heard if you don’t speak up about.  It is knowing how to do it in the right manner, that makes it half the battle.

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Lessons learned by a twenty-something just trying to survive.

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Facing Fears: January – Staying Put

The last few weeks have been filled with a lot of change and uncertainty, really unnerving for a person like me.  I tend to do well with change except when it comes in the form of making big life decisions, oh what a fear it is!  So crippling that, it truly stops me from making decisions.  My brain gets filled with the “what ifs” of the world and doesn’t seem to stop there.  “What if” those two words will be a hindrance the rest of my life? What if I’ll never be the person I dream to be because I allow such thoughts to fill my head?  What if I’m so neurotic about major change that I’ll never conquer my fears?  Those two short words can turn my world upside down, and not in a good way.

Without realizing it, I have faced a fear this month.  Small as it may be, it is was still a fear and I made the decision completely on my own.  After over 100 resumes sent out into the work force, a handful or so interviews, and a few rejections; I have committed to work for my brother through 2013 in our hometown.  What a decision to make! (For me at least).  Honestly, the job is good, pay is decent and the perks are even better.  I’ll live at home with my parents, save money, learn something new and develop some other interests and hobbies at the same time.  As the girl who was always trying to escape the grips of this city, I never thought I would end up back here and for such a long period of time. By the end of my contract, I’ll have been living at home for a year and a half.  I don’t mind it now however, it’s not somewhere I see myself for the rest of my life.  But I have to pat myself on the back; I made this decision, in the face of fear and on my own – something that is typically hard for me to do.

So there it is, my January fear…FACED!   It’s no plane jump, wrestle with sharks or move across the country but it is a big deal to me.  There are still some hidden reservations about my decisions but, I know in the long run, it will probably be very gratifying.  Upwards and onwards we go into February.

 

What fear did you face this month?

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Resolutions

Without delay (as delayed as this post is), it is time to step into 2013. The New Year brings new outlooks, changes and choices. Long before our resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking and not spend so much money, the Babylonians were making promises to their gods committing to pay their debts and return borrowed items. As each year begins we make commitments to ourselves hoping that there will be a sliver of hope those resolutions last through summer let alone the first few months of the new year. I’ve made countless resolutions to lose weight (I would like to lose 13lbs), drink less (accomplished), be a better person (still a struggle), etc. It’s much easier to say than do. I don’t think I even made a resolution last year because I didn’t want to be faced with failure (what a cop-out!). But this year shall be different and instead of making some resolution I’ll probably forget about by February, I have made one that should affect and empower my life.

Fear is a scary thing

Fear is a scary thing

I began this blog in November, prefacing that I need to start living a life without fear. Fear of a million of rational and irrational things that are stopping me in my tracks. So I have committed to living 2013 fearless and having fun along the way. What does this mean you ask? I am hoping to do at least one thing each month that will allow me to face such fears. These actions, decisions, etc can be as little or big as they may. And I’m enlisting you all for help, if you have any suggestions on stuff you think would be good for me to try/do, let me know. I’m open for many new possibilities. Also, as I scratch off each task, I’ll be updating you as I go along, plus some blog posts in between. I hope that your resolution for change allows you to challenge yourself and provides for some great conversation.

May 2013 be your year for growth!

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Ringing in the New Year: 12 Things I Learned in 2012

In the spirit of wrapping of 2012, I wanted to come up with something fun and/or thought provoking.  Of course, after several drafts of reviewing 2012 or summarizing my year, I got nada.  Honestly, I’ve been trying too hard; trying to come up with something you all wanted to hear instead of writing what I know.  And so, this is what I know.

I was all but jumping up and down to ring in 2013.   Not for the parties but, because I’m ready to have a fresh start again.  2012 was no cake walk for me; something I didn’t really expect after a rough 2011.  I seriously didn’t think it could get any more difficult but it did.  Life had a funny way of handing me the poo-poo platter and saying “dig in!”  And life, albeit difficult was not all that bad this year.  There were some really amazing moments like my niece being born, and some wonderful times with family and friends.  So here it goes:

12 Things I learned in 2012

  1. Life is hard but it isn’t terrible. Talk to someone about what’s going on in order to get it off your chest.  If you’re not living in the solution, you’re the problem.
  2. Denial is like vengeance.  The moment you decide to face reality it digs that knife much deeper.
  3. It’s easy to get caught up in being the person you think others want you to be. Just be yourself; life will be more pleasant.
  4. A life without spiritual, emotional and physical wellness is a chaotic one.
  5. I’m in a constant battle of reminding people I am not 16 anymore.
  6. I need to embrace this time in my life; it’s the ideal time to be doing things for myself.
  7. I am much more of a home body than I thought I was.
  8. Living with your parents at 25 isn’t so bad.
  9. Your dog REALLY is your best friend.
  10. Don’t judge a person based on their DVR.  Sometimes it is easier to blow off steam with the Real Housewives.
  11. I had a terrible habit of making and breaking plans this year. Not something I’m proud of and definitely something I need to work on.
  12. After all that poo-poo platter, I most definitely will be able to handle whatever life throws my way.

I hope that the new year brings many blessings to you.  Life is too short to not enjoy it.  May this year be better than the last and may you continue to grow into the amazing person you are.

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Quarter Life Crisis: RSVP: NO – Party of One

Happy Birthday to ME; hello quarter life crisis! The big 25 and I met face to face last Tuesday and it’s funny, I thought turning twenty-five was going to be a big deal. Maybe because up until last year, I had planned a big “you’re turning 25 and should go all out” party. Also because for some reason I think that turning twenty-five means you are officially “old”….or at least now taken seriously. I’m not quite sure where I developed such thoughts but I do believe that twenty-five is a BIG year.

My birthday was nothing out of the ordinary and neither have the days been following. I worked all day then got together with family and friends for a nice dinner at my grandparents’ house. I am so thankful for the wonderful people in my life that I get to share these special moments with. And the day came and went and now I am twenty-five.

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Family & Friends @ Birthday Dinner

My friends who have recently hit the big 25 welcomed me into the “quarter life crisis club” with open arms. But, I am rescinding my membership card. In my very earnest and honest opinion, the last few years of my life have felt like an “almost” quarter life crisis thus I’d like to say thanks but no thanks to the invitation. Life is just beginning; I just got a fresh start last year so I’d like to take on twenty-five with a positive-kick-ass-foot-forward-attitude. For me it’s all about being FEARLESS and taking the bull by the horns. I’m sick of sitting back looking at life half-full and living in regret. So I welcome TWENTY-FIVE with open arms. I know this year is going to be a hell’uva lot better than being twenty-four.

I’m not close to getting married, having my dream job or knowing what I am passionate about in life. But, I have a journey in front of me. I get to discover all these things, and fail, as long as I get back up. I asked friends for their favorite memories, piece of advice and so forth in their twenty-fifth year and all I got was “I met my husband, I got engaged, I got married!” So much for the deep intellectual life lessons I was hoping for. And although my Facebook news feed has been nothing but engagements and weddings as of late (my friends are all joining the “we’re getting older and it’s time to get settle down” movement); I’m not feeling as left out as I thought I would. I have a very special man in my life, wonderful family & friends and a job; and for that I am grateful. In the mean time I plan my nonexistent wedding on Pinterest, laugh at My Friends Are Married, relate to this, celebrate newly (engaged)weds and treasure moments with the ones I love.

So hello twenty-five, you’ve met your match. I’ve RSVP’d NO to your “quarter life crisis”, thanks and have a good day!

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FROGSGIVING FAVORITES

DK Royal Stadium TCU @ UT 11/22 Austin, TX

This was the second consecutive thanksgiving holiday spent away from my family.  Last year, I was in Arizona and missed all the holidays and a few family weddings.  Although I chose to be away from them this year (I went to the TCU @ UT game), I was sad to not share in the feasting day and football watching with the family.  I did however, get to spend some great time with the boyfriend, hang out with friends from school and watch my FROGS dominate the ‘Horns.  Honestly, it was a great weekend especially considering last year’s circumstances.

Some things from the weekend:

Boyfriend and I stayed at the Hotel Casulo in Austin.  A friend recommended it to me and we got a great deal on hotels.com.  I’m particular to the SFA InterContinental in Austin because the rooms are HUGE! But I really liked Casulo and would probably stay there again.  Located just south of downtown, it was easy to get around with a quick hop on to I35.

On game day, we hung out with some college friends of mine who I don’t get to see very often.  Tripp and I both love college football so I was happy to share the experience with him.  We joined my good friend at his tailgate then went to Scholz’s to meet up with my old roommate and her family.  I hadn’t seen Wendy in almost two years which is ridiculous.  My artistic roommate moved to NYC after graduation and is pursuing her dream which, is amazing.  Check out some of her photos: Wendy13ird.  We had a great time with her and her family.

Tripp, Me & Mr. B (Wendy’s dad)
Tripp & I cheering on the FROGS

Then…it was game time.  The Frogs battled the Horns in a great game, and ended up winning! I was so excited and exhausted from the day that I think I was a little delirious by the end of the game.  We had a great time and I’m so happy for my Frogs.

Tripp and I spent the rest of the weekend taking it easy, spending some needed quality time together, doing some shopping and celebrating my upcoming birthday.  The boy even bought me a gorgeous Michael Kors watch.

I could not be more thankful for this wonderful Thanksgiving.  It was exactly what I needed…GO FROGS!

GO FROGS!

What were your favorite moments of Thanksgiving?

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With A Thankful Heart

There is much to be thankful for this year, and Thanksgiving is a terrific way to recognize such things.  I believe that in the midst of our daily hustle and bustle, we overlook the little things in life.  I once tried to do a 21-day “attitude of gratitude” list, I shamefully got up to day seven or eight and quit.  We get caught up in running around trying to do everything at once that we forget to sit back and relax, and take it all in.  I typically try to always thank God for all He’s done in my life but it’s more than that.  It’s the barista who serves me coffee, the receptionist at the office, the grocer at the store and the ones closest to us that we graze over on a daily basis.

This year I am extremely thankful.  Two thousand twelve has been my toughest year yet, and I acknowledge and appreciate what I have been through but, I am definitely ready to ring in the New Year.    What better way to do so than take a look at what all we’re thankful for this year (which is a great segway into my soon-to-be series of 2012 in review).  A lot of people have been posting a “what they’re thankful for” each day in November so I give you my compressed version of that.

I am thankful for:

  • The love and support of my family and friends (this year hasn’t been the easiest on them either.)
  • Everyone who has lovingly welcomed me into their life
  • All those who made an impact in my life  (especially this year)
  • AA, fellowship, sobriety
  • Pinterest (we would still be sticking to our old recipes and have no cool DIY projects)
  • Opportunities in life
  • DVR
  • Birthday Presents
  • Widespread Panic back on tour😀
  • Tickets to the TCU @ UT game on Thanksgiving (GO FROGS GO!)
  • My lil Honda Accord (it gets me to and fro)
  • MY SUPER ADORABLE NIECE (who is my world)
  • My loving English Springer Spaniel, Riley
  • All of you!

I hope everyone has a terrific Thanksgiving holiday! Enjoy your family and friends, and all the wonderful things in your life.  Eat your heart out (holidays are the best time to ease up on your diet). Enjoy the food you eat, and be thankful for having a meal.  This Thanksgiving I’ll be cheering on my Horned Frogs in Austin.  I’ll be sure to write about that later, and of course I’ll be posting pics on Instagram so follow me at cbruni.

 

What are you thankful for?

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