Archive for April, 2013

February Fear, err Challenge: Don’t Cross The Line

 

ImageEleanor Roosevelt was beyond wise, we all know this.  Admittedly and very unfortunately, I wouldn’t even know what this woman had to tell the world if it wasn’t for Princess Diaries, you know the scene (to be fair, I was only 13 at the time).  Lady Roosevelt had plenty of great advice, this one just happened to stick and be my favorite.  Let’s face it, it’s hard not letting people get the best of us and thus…

Hi, my name is Catherine, and I struggle with boundaries.

 Personal boundaries are hard to navigate through.  As much as you want to say no, truly say what you mean and not let the words of others affect you, you regretting-ly shy from speaking up and get hurt.  For the bold, this may be easy… for the tactful this is a pleasant exchange.  For me, it’s tripping over words, not saying the right thing and not feeling heard… and at the end of it, allowing someone else to make me feel really small.  I became quick friends acquaintances with someone over January and February.  I like to see the best in people after others told me their own personal opinions of said person.   And I quickly learned what kind of person they really are.  This didn’t go without allowing this person to make me feel inferior.  Let’s face it, people, places and things can make us feel certain ways.  However, it’s what we do with that emotion that helps us grow.  When necessary, I did speak my mind but not in the way I wanted to, it wasn’t as eloquent and I certainly left things out.  After relatively smoothing things over, it happened again and this time I didn’t handle it with the bit of grace as I did the previous interaction.  Personally, I never want to come off rude, and I always seem to, nor do I want to allude to the fact that I don’t have it together and/or can’t stick up for myself properly.  But that’s my struggle.  I refuse to be treated certain ways by anyone and struggle to stand up for myself, say no, and draw that line in the sand.

Unfortunately, I’ve lived a lot of my life allowing people to make me feel negatively about myself or taken advantage.  And I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to learn how to change that.  I can proudly say that my encounters were not anything like the person I once was.  Its taking me a while to approach times like this with tact and grace, and it’s a never-ending battle for me.  As a society, we need things from people however, that will never be heard if you don’t speak up about.  It is knowing how to do it in the right manner, that makes it half the battle.

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Lessons learned by a twenty-something just trying to survive.

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