Archive for category Fun and Fearless 2013
Eleanor Roosevelt was beyond wise, we all know this. Admittedly and very unfortunately, I wouldn’t even know what this woman had to tell the world if it wasn’t for Princess Diaries, you know the scene (to be fair, I was only 13 at the time). Lady Roosevelt had plenty of great advice, this one just happened to stick and be my favorite. Let’s face it, it’s hard not letting people get the best of us and thus…
Hi, my name is Catherine, and I struggle with boundaries.
Personal boundaries are hard to navigate through. As much as you want to say no, truly say what you mean and not let the words of others affect you, you regretting-ly shy from speaking up and get hurt. For the bold, this may be easy… for the tactful this is a pleasant exchange. For me, it’s tripping over words, not saying the right thing and not feeling heard… and at the end of it, allowing someone else to make me feel really small. I became quick
friends acquaintances with someone over January and February. I like to see the best in people after others told me their own personal opinions of said person. And I quickly learned what kind of person they really are. This didn’t go without allowing this person to make me feel inferior. Let’s face it, people, places and things can make us feel certain ways. However, it’s what we do with that emotion that helps us grow. When necessary, I did speak my mind but not in the way I wanted to, it wasn’t as eloquent and I certainly left things out. After relatively smoothing things over, it happened again and this time I didn’t handle it with the bit of grace as I did the previous interaction. Personally, I never want to come off rude, and I always seem to, nor do I want to allude to the fact that I don’t have it together and/or can’t stick up for myself properly. But that’s my struggle. I refuse to be treated certain ways by anyone and struggle to stand up for myself, say no, and draw that line in the sand.
Unfortunately, I’ve lived a lot of my life allowing people to make me feel negatively about myself or taken advantage. And I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to learn how to change that. I can proudly say that my encounters were not anything like the person I once was. Its taking me a while to approach times like this with tact and grace, and it’s a never-ending battle for me. As a society, we need things from people however, that will never be heard if you don’t speak up about. It is knowing how to do it in the right manner, that makes it half the battle.
Lessons learned by a twenty-something just trying to survive.
The last few weeks have been filled with a lot of change and uncertainty, really unnerving for a person like me. I tend to do well with change except when it comes in the form of making big life decisions, oh what a fear it is! So crippling that, it truly stops me from making decisions. My brain gets filled with the “what ifs” of the world and doesn’t seem to stop there. “What if” those two words will be a hindrance the rest of my life? What if I’ll never be the person I dream to be because I allow such thoughts to fill my head? What if I’m so neurotic about major change that I’ll never conquer my fears? Those two short words can turn my world upside down, and not in a good way.
Without realizing it, I have faced a fear this month. Small as it may be, it
is was still a fear and I made the decision completely on my own. After over 100 resumes sent out into the work force, a handful or so interviews, and a few rejections; I have committed to work for my brother through 2013 in our hometown. What a decision to make! (For me at least). Honestly, the job is good, pay is decent and the perks are even better. I’ll live at home with my parents, save money, learn something new and develop some other interests and hobbies at the same time. As the girl who was always trying to escape the grips of this city, I never thought I would end up back here and for such a long period of time. By the end of my contract, I’ll have been living at home for a year and a half. I don’t mind it now however, it’s not somewhere I see myself for the rest of my life. But I have to pat myself on the back; I made this decision, in the face of fear and on my own – something that is typically hard for me to do.
So there it is, my January fear…FACED! It’s no plane jump, wrestle with sharks or move across the country but it is a big deal to me. There are still some hidden reservations about my decisions but, I know in the long run, it will probably be very gratifying. Upwards and onwards we go into February.
What fear did you face this month?
Without delay (as delayed as this post is), it is time to step into 2013. The New Year brings new outlooks, changes and choices. Long before our resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking and not spend so much money, the Babylonians were making promises to their gods committing to pay their debts and return borrowed items. As each year begins we make commitments to ourselves hoping that there will be a sliver of hope those resolutions last through summer let alone the first few months of the new year. I’ve made countless resolutions to lose weight (
I would like to lose 13lbs), drink less (accomplished), be a better person (still a struggle), etc. It’s much easier to say than do. I don’t think I even made a resolution last year because I didn’t want to be faced with failure (what a cop-out!). But this year shall be different and instead of making some resolution I’ll probably forget about by February, I have made one that should affect and empower my life.
I began this blog in November, prefacing that I need to start living a life without fear. Fear of a million of rational and irrational things that are stopping me in my tracks. So I have committed to living 2013 fearless and having fun along the way. What does this mean you ask? I am hoping to do at least one thing each month that will allow me to face such fears. These actions, decisions, etc can be as little or big as they may. And I’m enlisting you all for help, if you have any suggestions on stuff you think would be good for me to try/do, let me know. I’m open for many new possibilities. Also, as I scratch off each task, I’ll be updating you as I go along, plus some blog posts in between. I hope that your resolution for change allows you to challenge yourself and provides for some great conversation.
May 2013 be your year for growth!