Archive for January, 2013
The last few weeks have been filled with a lot of change and uncertainty, really unnerving for a person like me. I tend to do well with change except when it comes in the form of making big life decisions, oh what a fear it is! So crippling that, it truly stops me from making decisions. My brain gets filled with the “what ifs” of the world and doesn’t seem to stop there. “What if” those two words will be a hindrance the rest of my life? What if I’ll never be the person I dream to be because I allow such thoughts to fill my head? What if I’m so neurotic about major change that I’ll never conquer my fears? Those two short words can turn my world upside down, and not in a good way.
Without realizing it, I have faced a fear this month. Small as it may be, it
is was still a fear and I made the decision completely on my own. After over 100 resumes sent out into the work force, a handful or so interviews, and a few rejections; I have committed to work for my brother through 2013 in our hometown. What a decision to make! (For me at least). Honestly, the job is good, pay is decent and the perks are even better. I’ll live at home with my parents, save money, learn something new and develop some other interests and hobbies at the same time. As the girl who was always trying to escape the grips of this city, I never thought I would end up back here and for such a long period of time. By the end of my contract, I’ll have been living at home for a year and a half. I don’t mind it now however, it’s not somewhere I see myself for the rest of my life. But I have to pat myself on the back; I made this decision, in the face of fear and on my own – something that is typically hard for me to do.
So there it is, my January fear…FACED! It’s no plane jump, wrestle with sharks or move across the country but it is a big deal to me. There are still some hidden reservations about my decisions but, I know in the long run, it will probably be very gratifying. Upwards and onwards we go into February.
What fear did you face this month?
Without delay (as delayed as this post is), it is time to step into 2013. The New Year brings new outlooks, changes and choices. Long before our resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking and not spend so much money, the Babylonians were making promises to their gods committing to pay their debts and return borrowed items. As each year begins we make commitments to ourselves hoping that there will be a sliver of hope those resolutions last through summer let alone the first few months of the new year. I’ve made countless resolutions to lose weight (
I would like to lose 13lbs), drink less (accomplished), be a better person (still a struggle), etc. It’s much easier to say than do. I don’t think I even made a resolution last year because I didn’t want to be faced with failure (what a cop-out!). But this year shall be different and instead of making some resolution I’ll probably forget about by February, I have made one that should affect and empower my life.
I began this blog in November, prefacing that I need to start living a life without fear. Fear of a million of rational and irrational things that are stopping me in my tracks. So I have committed to living 2013 fearless and having fun along the way. What does this mean you ask? I am hoping to do at least one thing each month that will allow me to face such fears. These actions, decisions, etc can be as little or big as they may. And I’m enlisting you all for help, if you have any suggestions on stuff you think would be good for me to try/do, let me know. I’m open for many new possibilities. Also, as I scratch off each task, I’ll be updating you as I go along, plus some blog posts in between. I hope that your resolution for change allows you to challenge yourself and provides for some great conversation.
May 2013 be your year for growth!
In the spirit of wrapping of 2012, I wanted to come up with something fun and/or thought provoking. Of course, after several drafts of reviewing 2012 or summarizing my year, I got nada. Honestly, I’ve been trying too hard; trying to come up with something you all wanted to hear instead of writing what I know. And so, this is what I know.
I was all but jumping up and down to ring in 2013. Not for the parties but, because I’m ready to have a fresh start again. 2012 was no cake walk for me; something I didn’t really expect after a rough 2011. I seriously didn’t think it could get any more difficult but it did. Life had a funny way of handing me the poo-poo platter and saying “dig in!” And life, albeit difficult was not all that bad this year. There were some really amazing moments like my niece being born, and some wonderful times with family and friends. So here it goes:
12 Things I learned in 2012
- Life is hard but it isn’t terrible. Talk to someone about what’s going on in order to get it off your chest. If you’re not living in the solution, you’re the problem.
- Denial is like vengeance. The moment you decide to face reality it digs that knife much deeper.
- It’s easy to get caught up in being the person you think others want you to be. Just be yourself; life will be more pleasant.
- A life without spiritual, emotional and physical wellness is a chaotic one.
- I’m in a constant battle of reminding people I am not 16 anymore.
- I need to embrace this time in my life; it’s the ideal time to be doing things for myself.
- I am much more of a home body than I thought I was.
- Living with your parents at 25 isn’t so bad.
- Your dog REALLY is your best friend.
- Don’t judge a person based on their DVR. Sometimes it is easier to blow off steam with the Real Housewives.
- I had a terrible habit of making and breaking plans this year. Not something I’m proud of and definitely something I need to work on.
- After all that poo-poo platter, I most definitely will be able to handle whatever life throws my way.
I hope that the new year brings many blessings to you. Life is too short to not enjoy it. May this year be better than the last and may you continue to grow into the amazing person you are.