Archive for category The Beginning

February Fear, err Challenge: Don’t Cross The Line

 

ImageEleanor Roosevelt was beyond wise, we all know this.  Admittedly and very unfortunately, I wouldn’t even know what this woman had to tell the world if it wasn’t for Princess Diaries, you know the scene (to be fair, I was only 13 at the time).  Lady Roosevelt had plenty of great advice, this one just happened to stick and be my favorite.  Let’s face it, it’s hard not letting people get the best of us and thus…

Hi, my name is Catherine, and I struggle with boundaries.

 Personal boundaries are hard to navigate through.  As much as you want to say no, truly say what you mean and not let the words of others affect you, you regretting-ly shy from speaking up and get hurt.  For the bold, this may be easy… for the tactful this is a pleasant exchange.  For me, it’s tripping over words, not saying the right thing and not feeling heard… and at the end of it, allowing someone else to make me feel really small.  I became quick friends acquaintances with someone over January and February.  I like to see the best in people after others told me their own personal opinions of said person.   And I quickly learned what kind of person they really are.  This didn’t go without allowing this person to make me feel inferior.  Let’s face it, people, places and things can make us feel certain ways.  However, it’s what we do with that emotion that helps us grow.  When necessary, I did speak my mind but not in the way I wanted to, it wasn’t as eloquent and I certainly left things out.  After relatively smoothing things over, it happened again and this time I didn’t handle it with the bit of grace as I did the previous interaction.  Personally, I never want to come off rude, and I always seem to, nor do I want to allude to the fact that I don’t have it together and/or can’t stick up for myself properly.  But that’s my struggle.  I refuse to be treated certain ways by anyone and struggle to stand up for myself, say no, and draw that line in the sand.

Unfortunately, I’ve lived a lot of my life allowing people to make me feel negatively about myself or taken advantage.  And I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to learn how to change that.  I can proudly say that my encounters were not anything like the person I once was.  Its taking me a while to approach times like this with tact and grace, and it’s a never-ending battle for me.  As a society, we need things from people however, that will never be heard if you don’t speak up about.  It is knowing how to do it in the right manner, that makes it half the battle.

 Image

Lessons learned by a twenty-something just trying to survive.

Advertisements

, , , ,

Leave a comment

Resolutions

Without delay (as delayed as this post is), it is time to step into 2013. The New Year brings new outlooks, changes and choices. Long before our resolutions to lose weight, quit smoking and not spend so much money, the Babylonians were making promises to their gods committing to pay their debts and return borrowed items. As each year begins we make commitments to ourselves hoping that there will be a sliver of hope those resolutions last through summer let alone the first few months of the new year. I’ve made countless resolutions to lose weight (I would like to lose 13lbs), drink less (accomplished), be a better person (still a struggle), etc. It’s much easier to say than do. I don’t think I even made a resolution last year because I didn’t want to be faced with failure (what a cop-out!). But this year shall be different and instead of making some resolution I’ll probably forget about by February, I have made one that should affect and empower my life.

Fear is a scary thing

Fear is a scary thing

I began this blog in November, prefacing that I need to start living a life without fear. Fear of a million of rational and irrational things that are stopping me in my tracks. So I have committed to living 2013 fearless and having fun along the way. What does this mean you ask? I am hoping to do at least one thing each month that will allow me to face such fears. These actions, decisions, etc can be as little or big as they may. And I’m enlisting you all for help, if you have any suggestions on stuff you think would be good for me to try/do, let me know. I’m open for many new possibilities. Also, as I scratch off each task, I’ll be updating you as I go along, plus some blog posts in between. I hope that your resolution for change allows you to challenge yourself and provides for some great conversation.

May 2013 be your year for growth!

, , ,

Leave a comment

Ringing in the New Year: 12 Things I Learned in 2012

In the spirit of wrapping of 2012, I wanted to come up with something fun and/or thought provoking.  Of course, after several drafts of reviewing 2012 or summarizing my year, I got nada.  Honestly, I’ve been trying too hard; trying to come up with something you all wanted to hear instead of writing what I know.  And so, this is what I know.

I was all but jumping up and down to ring in 2013.   Not for the parties but, because I’m ready to have a fresh start again.  2012 was no cake walk for me; something I didn’t really expect after a rough 2011.  I seriously didn’t think it could get any more difficult but it did.  Life had a funny way of handing me the poo-poo platter and saying “dig in!”  And life, albeit difficult was not all that bad this year.  There were some really amazing moments like my niece being born, and some wonderful times with family and friends.  So here it goes:

12 Things I learned in 2012

  1. Life is hard but it isn’t terrible. Talk to someone about what’s going on in order to get it off your chest.  If you’re not living in the solution, you’re the problem.
  2. Denial is like vengeance.  The moment you decide to face reality it digs that knife much deeper.
  3. It’s easy to get caught up in being the person you think others want you to be. Just be yourself; life will be more pleasant.
  4. A life without spiritual, emotional and physical wellness is a chaotic one.
  5. I’m in a constant battle of reminding people I am not 16 anymore.
  6. I need to embrace this time in my life; it’s the ideal time to be doing things for myself.
  7. I am much more of a home body than I thought I was.
  8. Living with your parents at 25 isn’t so bad.
  9. Your dog REALLY is your best friend.
  10. Don’t judge a person based on their DVR.  Sometimes it is easier to blow off steam with the Real Housewives.
  11. I had a terrible habit of making and breaking plans this year. Not something I’m proud of and definitely something I need to work on.
  12. After all that poo-poo platter, I most definitely will be able to handle whatever life throws my way.

I hope that the new year brings many blessings to you.  Life is too short to not enjoy it.  May this year be better than the last and may you continue to grow into the amazing person you are.

, , ,

2 Comments

Hello, Howdy, Hola…Welcome All!

This is my third time attempting to write and successfully continue to develop a blog.  Third times a charm, right? My first blog was for family & friends while studying abroad, to share my experiences and journeys. Post-college and unemployed, I attempted to develop a blog about my job search which I felt like I should not have been writing at the time. Let’s face it; who wants to share failures of rejection?  But here we are, attempt number three and, I am hoping that this one will last. I have things to say, you may not like them, agree or care but, I will tackle this head on. Facing my fears, one blog post at a time.

In a recent conversation with my mom, we talked about fear.  Mostly how I let my fears stop me from doing things in my life.  I am so fearful of the unknown. This is funny ‘cause I made a HUGE life change this past year.  But, my fears are real, rational or not, they are present and they take up too much room in my life. So, I am on a journey to tackle my fears.  Before the New Year begins, I’d like to preface my blog with my fears in order to overcome them. I am committing 2013 to being FEARLESS!  And I’m giving you, my very loyal and loveable readers the opportunity to hold me accountable for it all. So let me break it down for you.

  1. Fear of writing a blog: No one will read it; no one will think it’s cool. People will judge me. I don’t have anything clever or witty to say. I won’t follow through.
  2. Fear of writing a book: I have no right to write a book. No one will read it, think it’s cool, profound, etc.
  3. Fear of moving: I won’t be happy.
  4. Fear of going after the things I want (ie. Job): I won’t get it; I’m not qualified/good enough.
  5. Fear of telling it like it is: People judge…. I judge.
  6. Fear of being all bark and no bite: It’s easier to say than do.
  7. Fear of spiders: Hmm I don’t know if that will change. I’m ridiculously scared of spiders.
  8. Fear of heights: I’ve developed a slight fear of heights.  As a kid I was willing to do anything but now, my feet get all tingly and stuff, this needs to stop.
  9. Fear of change: Personal, physical, professional….change is scary.
  10. Fear of failure: Not so much failing, but will I get back up?
  11. Fear of being alone: Not falling in love, getting married, starting a family, etc.
  12. Fear of not following through: Not accomplishing what I set out for myself and always wondering “what if?”

So there it is. Some of my fears, some of the things I’d like to accomplish. I’d like to say that this blog is going to be all about tackling my fears but let’s face it; I love movies, music, food, fashion, and my dog so you’ll hear a lot about that too.

WHAT DO YOU FEAR?

, , ,

2 Comments